Why Do I Feel Like I M Gonna Die
Camila Farah
I typed this into google a year ago my hands shaking as i questioned what i meant.
I m going to run around the room screaming and then everyone will realise what a freak i am. It feels as if i m slowly slipping away from everything. You are so afraid of dying that you are worrying about it praying about it and feeling scared of dying young. Many people die in silence because they do not want to be seen as crazy however you should know that it is better to be perceived as crazy and alive than sane and dead.
I didn t want to be alive or exist anymore. It s night time and i m feeling like i m going to die. It might feel as though you re about to die or lose your mind. I m 25 and i still don t know how to drive because it terrifies me.
Most of the time i just go from falling asleep to suddenly wide awake. Its not how i physically see things but how i mentally see things. Lately though my dysautonomia has been showing symptoms and when i do wake up from falling asleep i m terrified. I don t want to be here anymore but i m too afraid to die.
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This is issue number 1. It s exactly how you describe it it feels like you re not going to fall asleep you re going to lose consciousness or die. I m still working in retail because i m not passionate about anything other than art and animals. So the good news is it sounds as if you in a very different place than earlier this year when you attempted suicide.
Issue number 2 is that recently i have felt like i am going to die. I do sometimes feel like i am a failure and that i m not going to achieve anything because i m just so scared of everything and i don t have a drive like most people. I will think about me in the future and i m not a worlds gonna end in 2012 kinda person i cant imagine myself. Everything feels so weird and it s scary.
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